Where do I go from here?

Last Thursday something terrible happened to me.

I wanted to write about it, but just couldn't.

Well, now that I've had time to digest it all, I can speak about it.

I had been at an appt. with my personal trainer for an assessment. It felt soooooooo good to get back at working out again.

After the appt. I got into the van and noticed that there were a few voice messages on my cell phone.

I listened to one of them and noticed that whoever had called me had gotten my voice mail, and didn't hang up their speaker phone, so, my cell phone recorded their entire conversation.

At first I heard the radio, and then I heard my father in law angry and yelling obscenities....to only realize that he was actually talking about ME!

He said some horrible things about me. Dropped the "F Bomb" followed by the B word repeatedly and said how F'in stupid I was etc. It was horrible. I cried when I heard it. It was like I had walked into a conversation that I was never supposed to hear. It left me shaking. Andy happened to call me that afternoon shortly after I'd listened to the message and he was stunned, didn't know what to say. He felt sick for me having to go through that.

Later that night he confronted his Dad on the phone and I over heard him say "How dare you talk about my wife like that, she's always been welcoming to you both, and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and if I have to choose between her and you guys, then you won't be seeing me again." " Even if you apologize to her, how do you expect things to go back to the way they were?" He NEVER apologized but he did say he regretted saying those things. (whatever!) And then all the crap that ever happened in their immediate family between Andy and his parents from the last 42 yrs. was re hashed, and of course I took the brunt of the blame.

The bottom line after 3 hrs on the phone with them and Andy is this:

1) They're worried about Andy
2) They think he's depressed about his work situation over the last few years which is my fault
3) They think we spent too much money on our house(none of which was borrowed from the bank of J & F Macdonnell btw!)
4) They think I spend too much money
5) We don't take the boys over there very much lately(again my fault)
6) They think that Andy does the majority of the work around here and that I'm taking advantage of him


So, after 2 days of crying, I then moved on to being pissed off. Angry that they said those things, angry that no attempt was made to apologize, angry that they were willing to sweep what happened under the carpet with the explanation that 'sometimes people say things they don't mean and that I should just forget about it'(like that's ever going to happen!) After that fiasco, she sent an e-mail to Andy stating the above, and then had the nerve to say "tell Maria to bring the boys hockey bags over tomorrow"(the three other boys had to stay with them this past weekend when I was away and that made me feel like vomiting.)Oh my did she really think I would go over there the next day after all that was said about me???????

Andy was so good about everything, never said that I should just forget it. He completely understands how I feel about this and if I never have to talk to them again, then I won't!

It's a difficult situation and I'm not sure how I get past this. I feel paranoid in my own home thinking that they'll pop over and I'll be here alone and have to talk to them. I just can't. I have nothing nice to say.


Then yesterday FIL called and left a message on my cell phone apologizing for the things he said, and for the language he used. What he said was unforgiveable.

I realize the Christian thing to do would be to forgive and forget, but I just can't at this point.

I also don't want to call them, even though they're expecting me to and to say that it's ok, well it's NOT ok!

I think I'll put my feelings down in an e-mail to them and leave it at that.

I certainly do not want ANY help from them with the boys. I'd rather run myself ragged than ask them for ANY help.

I can't talk to them, and I'm cringing about the fact that Christopher's Birthday is in December right before Christmas and I'll have to have them over then.

They're going to the coast for Christmas so we won't have to see them then, and after Christmas we're taking the boys skiing for a week. Believe me if I could avoid them for the rest of my life and not subject my kids to their mind games and stuff then I would!

Oh my, could you imagine if one of the boys had heard that voice message on my phone? That would have been the end of any sort of grandparent/grandchild relationship that's for sure.

Another thing that ticks me off is that how many other times did they talk about me behind my back and then come over here for dinner and act all nice and sweet?

I don't deserve any of this.