I found this on another blog and had to copy it here into mine. "He who is offended when offence is not intended,
is a fool;
he who is offended when offence is intended,
is a greater fool.”
~Brigham Young
Offense... it seems the world is looking for offense and quite honestly
it is exhausting.
It's exhausting to be offended,
and it's exhausting to be around people who are constantly offended.
I was always more of the mind set of,
"Tell me if you want me to be offended so I can be,
so I won't offend you!"
But I guess this all goes back to the whole idea of looking for offense
because my problems are worse than your problems.
And lest anyone think this is about you, or to you, or for you...
It's not!
So don't be offended.
I don't blog for anyone but me, and my family.
This is our life,
my life,
something to give to my family to know of my love for them,
the things I hope for them,
the way I feel for them,
the way I feel sometimes.
My purpose in life is for them to become amazing human beings.
I love to keep a record of my thoughts, feelings and hopes and dreams.
So if you happen to read this and you think it is offensive,
if you think it is about you... it's not, and
it is a free country and you can choose to not read,
or not be offended.
I love that Brigham Young, a long, long time ago
was teaching that being offended is foolish.
It's true.
And I realize that growing up, and getting older
make you look at life differently.
I used to think I had to make everyone happy...
To apologize if someone else was hurting...
whether I had anything to do with it or not.
I felt responsible to make people happy.
People that had nothing to do with my life except that they happen to be
taking up the same space.
I would put my own family out to make sure the needs of
others were met.
Not that giving, serving or helping is a bad thing...
but I realize that many people really don't feel the same way.
A lot of people are all about themselves and what they have,
or don't have, or want to have because someone else has it.
I am not saying that I have completely moved past feeling that way.
Sadly I still wish I could make everyone happy,
be everything to everybody...
That is a hard habit to get over.
But I have realized a few things that make me want to take a really hard
look at my life so to speak.
I have been in a place where being a friend sucks the life out of me
and takes away from my family...
and I just don't like it.
I have known people who are looking to be offended
and you have to walk on egg shells just to be sure you
don't say the wrong thing,
because you know that they are looking for you to say the wrong thing!
There are some people who find offense even when you try to comfort them.
They are offended over words of comfort,
offended over actions...
you can say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing
even when your intentions are good.
But -
I have also known people who are just so kind,
so good.
Who are true friends,
because they don't judge the way you do things,
the way you parent,
the way you think.
They just love you... because they aren't looking for offense!
Over the past couple of years I have learned a few things
and I am realizing more and more what I do,
and do not want in my life!
I have learned that:
~some people demand compassion, but have none for anyone else
~just because you share blood, doesn't make you a real family
and some of your closest family do not share any blood at all
~kids will often act childish, sadly, often grown ups will too
~people often demand more of you and less of themselves
~some people keep score... they have a bright recollection of all that they
have done for others, but remember very little all that has been done
for them
~there is too much competition... and too little compassion
~too many people demand perfection from others and think that
they have nothing to change in themselves
~people lie and cheat and tell false stories
~sometimes friends turn on you for insignificant reasons
~life doesn't have to be perfect to have great joy,
you just have to look beyond the imperfections
~cherish those you love because life moves so quickly
I guess I am just finding that it is exhausting to surround yourself
with people who are looking to be offended,
and there is too much to be enjoyed without worrying about who
you might offend.
Not that it isn't worth being good to people
because it is what we should be always,
that is who we are...
It is possible to have perfect compassion and perfect empathy,
because nobody experiences the same things in the same way.
The point is,
we are on this earth
TO experience!
To share, to lift, and to love perfectly.
It doesn't matter that someone hasn't experienced exactly what I have,
They still can hold my hand and cry with me when I am in pain.
I have a friend who cried with me as I worried about my children.
She hadn't gone through the same thing I had,
but she was my friend,
and she loved me and carried my burden as if it were her own.
When she went through something similar
she knew that I was there for her, praying for her, and loving her
perfectly, because she is my friend.
We don't have the same set of trials,
but we have each other...
and that is enough!
Those are the kind of people that I want to surround myself with.
That is what is important.
Friends are friends when they see the good,
and ignore the rest!
I love friends like that.
And am thankful for them.
